You're on a board - now what?

Not to brag, but I share DNA with one of the best, smartest, most capable CEOs and board members in corporate America.

My sister Lauri Kien Kotcher has been on the boards of many fast-growth consumer companies. I’ve coached lots of clients through the process of joining their first board so I have plenty of my own insights to share, but I wanted to ask Lauri what advice she’d give first-time board members.

So here are some pieces of advice from both of us.

7 Things You Should Do When You Join a Board

1. Understand board culture

Every board has its own unspoken rules, traditions, and rhythms. Watch closely: Who speaks first? How do people pose their questions? What’s the tone when talking to the CEO or management?

Understanding these dynamics helps you avoid missteps and ensures your contributions align with the board’s norms. And don’t just listen to what’s said—pay attention to what’s not said. Body language, pauses, and side eyes can reveal just as much about group dynamics as spoken words.

Figuring this out isn’t just about fitting in; it’s about knowing how to make your voice count and your impact felt.

2.  Conduct due diligence 

In your early days on the board, spend time with the CEO, your guide to understanding the organization’s big picture. Spend quality time with him or her to unpack the company’s history, what’s working, what’s not, and near- and long-term priorities.

And don’t stop there. Get to know the leadership team. Dive into their goals, challenges, and victories—it’s like getting the behind-the-scenes tour at Disney, but for business strategy. This collaboration sets the foundation for offering smart advice and spotting relevant opportunities.

Trust me: A solid relationship with leadership makes your time on the board smoother and far more impactful.

3. Engage with key board members

As a board member, your job isn’t to manage the company or nitpick daily operations. Instead, you’re there to think big-picture: strategy, risk oversight, and long-term planning.

Think of your fellow board members as a mix of collaborators. Schedule one-on-one time with each director—not just to learn their professional perspectives, but to connect on a personal level. (Bonus points for discovering their go-to vacation spots or weekend activities.)

If there’s a lead director, make sure you’re crystal clear on their vision for the board’s role. Don’t forget committee meetings—these are goldmines for understanding the nitty-gritty of how the board works together to achieve its goals.

Building these connections early makes collaboration easier, the work more productive, and board meetings a lot more enjoyable.

4. Find a board buddy

Let’s be real: Joining a board can feel like starting at a new school. That’s why finding a seasoned board member as your buddy can make all the difference.

Your buddy can give you the inside scoop on board history, explain tricky dynamics, and serve as a safe space for your questions (no matter how basic they seem). Think of them as your cheat code to integrating faster and contributing sooner.

Bonus: They might even tell you who not to sit next to during long meetings.

5. Communicate with clarity and gravitas

Nobody appreciates a rambler. When you speak, make sure it’s clear, concise, and moves the dialogue forward. The more direct and thoughtful you are, the more likely people will listen.

Pro tip: Structure your points so they’re easy to follow—especially if you’re explaining something complex. And yes, this is extra important if you’re a woman or under 30. Clear communication equals instant credibility.

Importantly, to garner instant respect from board colleagues, avoid beginning comments with diminishing phrases like “I think”, “Maybe we could” or “What if.” Instead use phrases that display gravitas: “I believe”, “We need to”, or “It’s important to consider”.

6. Ask smart, probing questions - this is particularly important!

The secret weapon of a great board member? Asking the right questions.

Probing questions—like “What’s the rationale behind this approach?” or “Have we considered other angles?”—can shift discussions in fresh directions without putting anyone on the defensive.

Good questions don’t just add to the conversation—they change it. Use this power wisely.

7. Have the courage to provide a dissenting view

Disagreeing with the group can be intimidating, but it’s also one of the most valuable things you can do.

Thoughtful decision-making depends on diverse perspectives, and sometimes that means being the one to say, “There is something else I believe we should consider” or “I look at this through a different lens.” 

Frame your dissent as an enhancement to the discussion, not a correction to what has already been said. Be constructive and solution-focused, and you’ll earn respect while sparking meaningful discussion.

Unnerving? Sure. Worth it? Absolutely.

If you’ve recently joined a board or you’d like to change how you’re navigating a board you’re currently on, I’d love to help! You can learn more about my leadership coaching here or grab a spot on my calendar to chat here.